Notorious BLG

Sunday, March 04, 2007

The Price of Beauty...

So, I will set the scene... You are sitting comfortably in the deluxe massage chair, settings are exactly how you like them (full body, airlift seat, kneading massage, warm heat), there is an all too-beautiful Asian woman doting over your hands, and another your feet. You have your feet immersed in water as hot as you can stand, and 3 degrees higher with this fabulous foot salt that smells like Eucalyptus, and softens your weary dogs as the pounding of the awesome chair beats your body into a complete state of relaxation... Aah! Sleep is the key here... you lay your head back and drift into a glorious slumber... It is just then that you feel the warmth of the Popsicle stick, and it feels so GREAT...
RIP! All the comforts and relaxation is stricken from your body as that sweet, beautiful, Asian woman RIPS THE SKIN OFF YOUR FACE!!! Then says, 'oh your fault, you wait too long- hairy face...you no wait so long next time, and it no hurt so bad...NOT MY FAULT!!!'
It is just then that you feel the swelling in your face. You feel the heat from under your skin as you attempt to hold your composure, and you can not help but notice the repeated chanting, "Not my fault... you wait too long, you no wait, it no hurt... Not my fault!"
Then, 8 hours later when your facial swelling has reduced to an almost recognizable profile, you smile and think... she MUST be crazy to think I am going to subject myself to that torture more than once a month... and it is not until THAT moment when the man you are interested in notices that there is 'something different about you' and then he says (ever so confidently), "Are you OK? Are you breaking out? Your face seems a bit RED..."
And fellas... you don't even want the reenactment of the bikini wax...